ELEVATOR

Living on the 17th floor necessarily implies an intimate relationship with that metal box of vertical motion otherwise known as 'the lift'. Lifts in high-rises do not differ much in shape and size (they tend to be the standard 8 person, 600kg, type), yet what they lack in physical variation they more than make up for in personality. Granted, this 'personality' may not be to everyone's liking, but it makes 'elevating' an experience that one tends not to forget in a hurry.

The psychosocial dynamics of vertical transportation are worthy of a thesis. Depending on your point of view, elevating can be an 'ascent' or a 'descent' - rarely is the traveller indifferent to the experience. The spatial configuration of the lift engenders all sorts of nervous interaction - it gets real animal in here at times.

Yesterday morning, a wee fat wumin and her wee fat dug got in on the 14th floor as we were descending. Smiles were exchanged but no words. She seemed a nice soul. The dug gave me the once over and ventured to smell my legs before being corrected and gathered up by the wee wumin. The ground floor approaches and the door opens. The dog bolts from the arms of the wumin and hightails it past the two elderly ladies waiting in the lobby.

"No dogs allowed in the lift," one of them says to the wee fat wumin.

By the time this imperative has been uttered the wee fat wumin is halfway to the front door. She yells back fairly forcefully, " Awww, shut up!!" And then a step or two after, a large sigh and, "Every fuckin' day!"

The two elderly ladies, as I negotiate my bike out past them, are not impressed.

"Would you listen to that mouth?!" one of them whispers to the other.


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